I am doing well in some things and not so well in others. I got home from an exhausting Bikram session last night, ate leftover chicken noodle soup and crashed into bed.
No exercise this morning and my body is screaming out to be active. I am getting addicted to exercise I think. If I don't have it I get the jitters which must be akin to withdrawal.
And got up so late everything was a rush and I got to work late.
So, I need to be way more organised. This is one of my major downfalls. I can't seem to get into good routines. But I am going to try laying all my clothes for work and training out on Sunday for the whole week. And pack my lunch the night before. And go to bed earlier.
Good, yet strange, news is that I have lost 1.5kg since Sunday. Pretty much on the food and one Bikram session. And the food is really really good. Made the beef strog tonight and had to fight the Siamese catties howling around me as I ate, for the last of it. They won and totally cleaned it up.
Off to pack lunch and go to bed earlyish so that I can get up and do the toning and stretching exercises on the morrow and get to work at a reasonable time. Hmmmm.....will this happen? Time will tell.
Wednesday, 15 May 2013
Monday, 13 May 2013
One step back one step forward
Did not sleep well at all last night after going to bed late. I think it was anxiety about today. Not because it is the first day of the 12WBT but because of the new job. Those questions always go through your mind. Will they like me? Will I be able to do the job? Will I live up to expectations?
So of course I couldn't get up this morning when the alarm went. And it was raining. So couldn't go out to start the Learn to Run program. But I dutifully packed my lunch, counting my calories as I went, and writing down all the food etc. Decided to take tuna and salad for lunch as the whole wrap thing didn't appeal that much. And apple and celery and carrots for snacks.
Got to work and found out I was in the office that two of my favourite bosses of all time had occupied at one time or another. Met my new exec assistant who is lovely. And the team started wandering in. And they'd put on a lovely Australia's Biggest Morning Tea to raise money for the Cancer Council and to welcome me. Lots and lots of lovely yummy looking home made tidbits. I surprised myself and resisted, well quite easily really. Then I was called down to my boss' office for a meeting and she was handing out a lovely iced rich chokky cake, which I also said no to. All a bit much for the first two hours in the job!!
I think I am going to really love this job. The team is warm and friendly. And the work is just like coming home. The only thing is that I was in meetings or working and mainly sitting down from when I got there till when I left. I took my little balance cushion mat thingy with me today to help me stand up and move. And I did get up to get a cup of tea and a glass of water. And a wee bit of movement between meetings. And that was it. I am really going to have to cocentrate on making time for breaks to get a lot more movement into my day.
Made the chicken soup for dinner. I really didn't think much of the recipe, which is pretty mighty simple, but it really was delicous. Those finely chopped fresh beans are a great addition and added a lovely flavour and texture. I've portioned it all out and will have some for dinner after Bikram tomorrow night, and freeze the other two portions. If it unfreezes well, I am going to make a giant pot of it on the weekend. I worked out all the calories I've eaten and barely made it to a thousand. I am going to pack some extra salad for lunch. And then I know I can save a few calories to have a skim milk chocolate drink after Bikram to rehydrate. But I can see why weighing everything and counting calories is so important. It is as easy to eat too little as too much.
Then I got chatting with my new FB group, the 12WBT Canberra Crew. What a great mob of people!! I have already signed up for a meet and greet and for a walk up Black Mountain. And got onto the 12WBT website where I couln't keep up with all the new posts. All the members are jumping about with energy and excitement and posting stuff like crazy at starting out on this big adventure. Me too!!
I am going to make myself my "dessert" of a cup of chamomile tea and go to bed early, so I can get up early and go through all my toning and stretching exercises.
Blessings.
So of course I couldn't get up this morning when the alarm went. And it was raining. So couldn't go out to start the Learn to Run program. But I dutifully packed my lunch, counting my calories as I went, and writing down all the food etc. Decided to take tuna and salad for lunch as the whole wrap thing didn't appeal that much. And apple and celery and carrots for snacks.
Got to work and found out I was in the office that two of my favourite bosses of all time had occupied at one time or another. Met my new exec assistant who is lovely. And the team started wandering in. And they'd put on a lovely Australia's Biggest Morning Tea to raise money for the Cancer Council and to welcome me. Lots and lots of lovely yummy looking home made tidbits. I surprised myself and resisted, well quite easily really. Then I was called down to my boss' office for a meeting and she was handing out a lovely iced rich chokky cake, which I also said no to. All a bit much for the first two hours in the job!!
I think I am going to really love this job. The team is warm and friendly. And the work is just like coming home. The only thing is that I was in meetings or working and mainly sitting down from when I got there till when I left. I took my little balance cushion mat thingy with me today to help me stand up and move. And I did get up to get a cup of tea and a glass of water. And a wee bit of movement between meetings. And that was it. I am really going to have to cocentrate on making time for breaks to get a lot more movement into my day.
Made the chicken soup for dinner. I really didn't think much of the recipe, which is pretty mighty simple, but it really was delicous. Those finely chopped fresh beans are a great addition and added a lovely flavour and texture. I've portioned it all out and will have some for dinner after Bikram tomorrow night, and freeze the other two portions. If it unfreezes well, I am going to make a giant pot of it on the weekend. I worked out all the calories I've eaten and barely made it to a thousand. I am going to pack some extra salad for lunch. And then I know I can save a few calories to have a skim milk chocolate drink after Bikram to rehydrate. But I can see why weighing everything and counting calories is so important. It is as easy to eat too little as too much.
Then I got chatting with my new FB group, the 12WBT Canberra Crew. What a great mob of people!! I have already signed up for a meet and greet and for a walk up Black Mountain. And got onto the 12WBT website where I couln't keep up with all the new posts. All the members are jumping about with energy and excitement and posting stuff like crazy at starting out on this big adventure. Me too!!
I am going to make myself my "dessert" of a cup of chamomile tea and go to bed early, so I can get up early and go through all my toning and stretching exercises.
Blessings.
Sunday, 12 May 2013
A busy Mother's Day and taking time out to remember people who matter
Well it's been a busy old Mum's Day today.
I had a walk up Mt Ainslie yesterday, no sight of the Sky Wale unfortunately, but a great walk followed by coffee at yet another new coffee shop, this time with a full on commercial bakery attached, where I had vegemite toast by choice and not just because I was on this program. A couple of the ladies I was with had almond croissants. I didn't let them know that I haven't been able to eat even a plain croissant after I found out that they had a week's worth of fat allowance in each!!
Bikram in the afternoon. Still not able to do it, but even I can feel a marginal improvement since my first session. Though I did notice that the more I got into it properly, the more exhausted I got. By the end I felt quite literally like a wet rag. Except more like a wet rag that needed to pee really badly. Everyone else was pretty much still lying in the final meditative relax pose and I was bolting for the loo. Didn't need to drink as much immediately as I had the first time and by the time I got home I actually felt quite energised.
Oh, and in between, there was a visit to one of the best yarn stores ever, Stitch 'n' Time in Phillip. I was SO good and did not buy any yarn - but I did procure a yarn winder. Oh and then there was a skinny iced chai and an apple strudel at Hansel & Gretel - so nice and I figured that there was minimal pastry and plenty of apple so was the healthiest choice they had. And I forewent the cream, which I always do anyway.
So today I was a bit stiff, especially my right leg, although the knee itself is feeling a lot better. Was lovely here in Tuggeranong, but got foggier and foggier as I got closer to Lake Burley Griffin where the Mother's Day Classic was held. Got there after the 10k runners had done their thing, but who could have seen them running? The fog was soupily thick. Met up with friends and attached my bib. I'd had a long think about who I wanted to walk for and decided I would walk for everyone I knew with breast cancer or who has died from it. So the walk was for you Lorraine, Maria, Ria, Maureen, Sue, Shirley, Kylie, Fiona, Margy, Jennie. That is 10 women in my life. It was sobering to see so many names of people who participants were walking or running for.
It was a record turnout and then some in Canberra and we patiently cued up for the start of the walk after the 5k runners had all taken off. In the hour and a half while we had been waiting to get going, the fog had just finished lifting revealing a beautiful blue skied Canberra autumn day. We had a great walk amid a sea of pink. It felt really good doing something with the community for the community. Hope all that money raised goes to fund some innovative and amazing research that will stop more and more women from getting and dying from this disease.
Oh, and next year - that will be me running the 5k and maybe even the 10k if I can get up to that level.
Came back and made my shopping list from the Week 1 plans. Have fiddled the plan a little so I can make the most of each meal, living by myself as I do and freeze things for later or take things in for lunch the next day. Shopped, then had an extraordinarily bad meal which involved a burger and ice cream and about which I shall say no more....
Then came home and finished off my fitness test and running time benchmark. I had been hoping to do these yesterday but time got away from me a bit and there was no way I was going to start tomorrow without having finished those tasks!
So I'm all ready and willing to go. Bring on tomorrow, my new job, my lifestyle, a new me. A red letter day and then some! Watch out world, I'm revved up and firing to go!
I had a walk up Mt Ainslie yesterday, no sight of the Sky Wale unfortunately, but a great walk followed by coffee at yet another new coffee shop, this time with a full on commercial bakery attached, where I had vegemite toast by choice and not just because I was on this program. A couple of the ladies I was with had almond croissants. I didn't let them know that I haven't been able to eat even a plain croissant after I found out that they had a week's worth of fat allowance in each!!
Bikram in the afternoon. Still not able to do it, but even I can feel a marginal improvement since my first session. Though I did notice that the more I got into it properly, the more exhausted I got. By the end I felt quite literally like a wet rag. Except more like a wet rag that needed to pee really badly. Everyone else was pretty much still lying in the final meditative relax pose and I was bolting for the loo. Didn't need to drink as much immediately as I had the first time and by the time I got home I actually felt quite energised.
Oh, and in between, there was a visit to one of the best yarn stores ever, Stitch 'n' Time in Phillip. I was SO good and did not buy any yarn - but I did procure a yarn winder. Oh and then there was a skinny iced chai and an apple strudel at Hansel & Gretel - so nice and I figured that there was minimal pastry and plenty of apple so was the healthiest choice they had. And I forewent the cream, which I always do anyway.
So today I was a bit stiff, especially my right leg, although the knee itself is feeling a lot better. Was lovely here in Tuggeranong, but got foggier and foggier as I got closer to Lake Burley Griffin where the Mother's Day Classic was held. Got there after the 10k runners had done their thing, but who could have seen them running? The fog was soupily thick. Met up with friends and attached my bib. I'd had a long think about who I wanted to walk for and decided I would walk for everyone I knew with breast cancer or who has died from it. So the walk was for you Lorraine, Maria, Ria, Maureen, Sue, Shirley, Kylie, Fiona, Margy, Jennie. That is 10 women in my life. It was sobering to see so many names of people who participants were walking or running for.
It was a record turnout and then some in Canberra and we patiently cued up for the start of the walk after the 5k runners had all taken off. In the hour and a half while we had been waiting to get going, the fog had just finished lifting revealing a beautiful blue skied Canberra autumn day. We had a great walk amid a sea of pink. It felt really good doing something with the community for the community. Hope all that money raised goes to fund some innovative and amazing research that will stop more and more women from getting and dying from this disease.
Oh, and next year - that will be me running the 5k and maybe even the 10k if I can get up to that level.
Came back and made my shopping list from the Week 1 plans. Have fiddled the plan a little so I can make the most of each meal, living by myself as I do and freeze things for later or take things in for lunch the next day. Shopped, then had an extraordinarily bad meal which involved a burger and ice cream and about which I shall say no more....
Then came home and finished off my fitness test and running time benchmark. I had been hoping to do these yesterday but time got away from me a bit and there was no way I was going to start tomorrow without having finished those tasks!
So I'm all ready and willing to go. Bring on tomorrow, my new job, my lifestyle, a new me. A red letter day and then some! Watch out world, I'm revved up and firing to go!
Thursday, 9 May 2013
Sniffle sniffle cough cough
I deliberately turned off the alarm last night so that I could have a sleep in this morning to try and get rid of my horrid cold. Woke up wheezing at 7.30am. And coughing. So much for a recuperative sleep in.
Spent all day with plasticine head. My highly technical term for when a cold has invaded your head and it feels like lead and you can't hear and you are flushed and hot and mizzable.
Only left the house briefly to bring in the mail. Oh yay - a bill. And to sneak out to the little supermarket down the road to get some dinner for the poor old dog.
Been plagued all day by thoughts of cake and custard and treats. Wanting to be bad. But really not wanting to because I'm feeling so sick that if I ate any of those things (other than custard) I'd just feel sick. I think it's my head gearing up to set me up to fail next week by letting me know I am weak and can't resist rubbish food. But not, I proved it last night. I can be strong! I can say no! I so SO hope that I am going to lose my taste for sweets while on the 12WBT.
Spent quite a bit of the day slowly planning my diary etc for the next few weeks. I'm using a little notebook and have set it up for the 12 weeks now so it will be easy to add to and make notes and comments in.
Then spent alot of frustrating time trying to get in and download recipes and the exercise plan for next week. Still haven't been successful but I am ever hopeful and there's always tomorrow. I can understand why the system would crash with so many excited people trying to access the plan for Week 1. Having been in this kind of situation myself at work, I can really appreciate how frustrated and disappointed and annoyed MB and her team must be that it did crash and still isn't working properly. That is a big public fail that no-one wants to be responsible for. Hopefully some of the more negative folk complaining about access will be able to get on and get the details they need and settle into the program.
I did get a fleeting look at some of the training and nutrition info. Some of those meals look rather nice. I can see that I am going to do a bit of adjusting myself so that I can make more than one meal with some of the ingredients and take leftovers for lunch. Or eat the same thing a couple of times in a row. Or subsitute two tablespoons of pureed fresh tomato for passata. Etc. I don't have a big pantry space as I mainly eat fresh things so don't have room for heaps of different packs of things. But then again, I do have an impressive array of Tupperware storage.
The only exercise I did today was blow my nose and cough. And my physio exercises. Knee is feeling WAY better albeit a teeny smidge twingy. I keep telling it that it would be much better for it to be completely well right now because it is going to start learning to run next week.
I haven't even been able to read my head is so fuzzy. Such a waste of my last week of leave, but I'd rather have the cold and get over it this week than have it next week. Because next week marks the week from when I am going to start the rest of my life.
Spent all day with plasticine head. My highly technical term for when a cold has invaded your head and it feels like lead and you can't hear and you are flushed and hot and mizzable.
Only left the house briefly to bring in the mail. Oh yay - a bill. And to sneak out to the little supermarket down the road to get some dinner for the poor old dog.
Been plagued all day by thoughts of cake and custard and treats. Wanting to be bad. But really not wanting to because I'm feeling so sick that if I ate any of those things (other than custard) I'd just feel sick. I think it's my head gearing up to set me up to fail next week by letting me know I am weak and can't resist rubbish food. But not, I proved it last night. I can be strong! I can say no! I so SO hope that I am going to lose my taste for sweets while on the 12WBT.
Spent quite a bit of the day slowly planning my diary etc for the next few weeks. I'm using a little notebook and have set it up for the 12 weeks now so it will be easy to add to and make notes and comments in.
Then spent alot of frustrating time trying to get in and download recipes and the exercise plan for next week. Still haven't been successful but I am ever hopeful and there's always tomorrow. I can understand why the system would crash with so many excited people trying to access the plan for Week 1. Having been in this kind of situation myself at work, I can really appreciate how frustrated and disappointed and annoyed MB and her team must be that it did crash and still isn't working properly. That is a big public fail that no-one wants to be responsible for. Hopefully some of the more negative folk complaining about access will be able to get on and get the details they need and settle into the program.
I did get a fleeting look at some of the training and nutrition info. Some of those meals look rather nice. I can see that I am going to do a bit of adjusting myself so that I can make more than one meal with some of the ingredients and take leftovers for lunch. Or eat the same thing a couple of times in a row. Or subsitute two tablespoons of pureed fresh tomato for passata. Etc. I don't have a big pantry space as I mainly eat fresh things so don't have room for heaps of different packs of things. But then again, I do have an impressive array of Tupperware storage.
The only exercise I did today was blow my nose and cough. And my physio exercises. Knee is feeling WAY better albeit a teeny smidge twingy. I keep telling it that it would be much better for it to be completely well right now because it is going to start learning to run next week.
I haven't even been able to read my head is so fuzzy. Such a waste of my last week of leave, but I'd rather have the cold and get over it this week than have it next week. Because next week marks the week from when I am going to start the rest of my life.
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
Red flags aflying
Well, who would have thought I could encounter a red flag as big as big can be and survive it.
Had a great night out with our community church women. A night of tea and testimony. Supper provided.....sigh.
And what a divine supper. Lots of lovely bitesize morsels of calorie laden deliciousness.
I had a cup of tea. I really really REALLY wanted to try some of those tantalising supper items. But I knew that if I had one thing, that would be it and I would stuff myself full. So I didn't have even one thing.
Mercifully, I have a horrible cold, so that did make it a bit easier to say no as the little homemade pavs were passed around. And the tea cake. And and and..... I felt just sick enough not to feel hungry. Mind you, that wouldn't have stopped me in the past.
I did have two small mandarins when I got home.
On a more mundane note. Went to the physio today to see if my knee could be sorted. Thank you Linda for all the care and attention to my knee and the manipulation and the taping and the exercises. Feels heaps better. Going back on Friday morning. So am waiting till Friday afternoon to do my fitness test. I've never been to a physio before - I was seriously impressed!
Had a great night out with our community church women. A night of tea and testimony. Supper provided.....sigh.
And what a divine supper. Lots of lovely bitesize morsels of calorie laden deliciousness.
I had a cup of tea. I really really REALLY wanted to try some of those tantalising supper items. But I knew that if I had one thing, that would be it and I would stuff myself full. So I didn't have even one thing.
Mercifully, I have a horrible cold, so that did make it a bit easier to say no as the little homemade pavs were passed around. And the tea cake. And and and..... I felt just sick enough not to feel hungry. Mind you, that wouldn't have stopped me in the past.
I did have two small mandarins when I got home.
On a more mundane note. Went to the physio today to see if my knee could be sorted. Thank you Linda for all the care and attention to my knee and the manipulation and the taping and the exercises. Feels heaps better. Going back on Friday morning. So am waiting till Friday afternoon to do my fitness test. I've never been to a physio before - I was seriously impressed!
Tuesday, 7 May 2013
Something new and something old
What a day today.
Something old - went back to Uni for an afternoon. I went to seminar where students who had won first prizes for their theses presented on them. They were from the same school that I would be attached to if my PhD proposal is successful. The first two were PhDs and very interesting all around and excellently presented. My fave was the one on women business owners in colonial Australia.
Then we got to the two undergrad theses. The second one was OK. But to be perfectly honest, I couldn't understand one word of the first one which was about how our skin and body are archives of our past. I kind of get the idea, but the language used was inpenetrable. When we got to the questions, someone made a comment that "it is right not to pathologise discourse". I don't even know what that means. I had a bit of an inner giggle.
Something new - had my first Bikram yoga session tonight. OMG! Insane! I finished up feeling like an uncoordinated pretzel that had been run over by a tank. I was drop dead exhausted and dripping with sweat, and not just from the heat. I loved the heat. It reminded me of growing up in Sydney and living through long hot humid summer holiday days. And truth be told, I really enjoyed the exercise. I have found that I have pretty much zero flexibility and couldn't keep up with the full extent of the poses etc. But having bought a voucher for 20 sessions, I have 19 sessions left to go to improve my ability to twist my arms around themselves and my legs and bend down and touch the ground with my forehead and thus become a coordinated pretzel.
I loved the place too. It was clean and peaceful and everyone was really friendly. Very small change room though and communal showers, which make me uncomfy. I think I am going to have to rug up over my sweaty things and go home and have a shower rather than do it there. It's not just that I am roly poly, but I do have a number of scars from my various cancer surgeries, which I'm not really self conscious about, but they are pretty dramatic and do shock people who see them and don't know the full history.
Tomorrow I am going to do the 12WBT fitness test in the morning, then go to the physio for my knee, then go and have a chat with someone to start my background research for the thesis so that I can write up a proposal, then a swim, then a rest I think.....
Oh, and I bought two new pairs of running shoes. One pair was on sale and one was reasonably priced, so I figure I got a bargain. And as the lovely lady who fitted me said, you need to rest your running shoes. And, she was so amazingly friendly when I told her I was learning to run. She didn't even remotely look at me as though to say, so you think you will be able to run oh bundle of lard. She even gave me a flyer for a monthly women's and girl's jog along and really really encouraged me to come along and that she hoped to see me there next month. How encouraging is that? Thanks Cathy at the Runners Shop!
Something old - went back to Uni for an afternoon. I went to seminar where students who had won first prizes for their theses presented on them. They were from the same school that I would be attached to if my PhD proposal is successful. The first two were PhDs and very interesting all around and excellently presented. My fave was the one on women business owners in colonial Australia.
Then we got to the two undergrad theses. The second one was OK. But to be perfectly honest, I couldn't understand one word of the first one which was about how our skin and body are archives of our past. I kind of get the idea, but the language used was inpenetrable. When we got to the questions, someone made a comment that "it is right not to pathologise discourse". I don't even know what that means. I had a bit of an inner giggle.
Something new - had my first Bikram yoga session tonight. OMG! Insane! I finished up feeling like an uncoordinated pretzel that had been run over by a tank. I was drop dead exhausted and dripping with sweat, and not just from the heat. I loved the heat. It reminded me of growing up in Sydney and living through long hot humid summer holiday days. And truth be told, I really enjoyed the exercise. I have found that I have pretty much zero flexibility and couldn't keep up with the full extent of the poses etc. But having bought a voucher for 20 sessions, I have 19 sessions left to go to improve my ability to twist my arms around themselves and my legs and bend down and touch the ground with my forehead and thus become a coordinated pretzel.
I loved the place too. It was clean and peaceful and everyone was really friendly. Very small change room though and communal showers, which make me uncomfy. I think I am going to have to rug up over my sweaty things and go home and have a shower rather than do it there. It's not just that I am roly poly, but I do have a number of scars from my various cancer surgeries, which I'm not really self conscious about, but they are pretty dramatic and do shock people who see them and don't know the full history.
Tomorrow I am going to do the 12WBT fitness test in the morning, then go to the physio for my knee, then go and have a chat with someone to start my background research for the thesis so that I can write up a proposal, then a swim, then a rest I think.....
Oh, and I bought two new pairs of running shoes. One pair was on sale and one was reasonably priced, so I figure I got a bargain. And as the lovely lady who fitted me said, you need to rest your running shoes. And, she was so amazingly friendly when I told her I was learning to run. She didn't even remotely look at me as though to say, so you think you will be able to run oh bundle of lard. She even gave me a flyer for a monthly women's and girl's jog along and really really encouraged me to come along and that she hoped to see me there next month. How encouraging is that? Thanks Cathy at the Runners Shop!
Monday, 6 May 2013
Me, my scales and I
I knew already that my scales weighed slightly light. So I bought myself some of those fancy "we can tell you everything about yourself including how much fat you are carrying" scales fom the Sportsmans Warehouse yesterday. And set them up and compared old and new today. My old scales are 1kg out. Which means I have to lose 1 more kg to get to my target goal of 70kg. Sigh. And maybe I didn't really want to know my depressing body fat percentage, or that I've put on a smidgin of weight since last week.
Here were my options. Get depressed. Give up. Go eat cake.
But I chose not to do any of those things. Just to take a step in the right direction (tuna and cucumber wholemeal sandwich with no spread for lunch), then another one (small mandarin for a snack)...... because I am going to make it to a fitter, lower cholesteroled, 5k running me.
Then I went and adjusted my start and current weights on my 12WBT profile, just to keep me honest.
Driving around Canberra doing errands this afternoon, my resolve strengthened even more. I thought about all the things that have held me back in the past and hold me back now. Most if it is really about resolve, discipline, determination and focus.
I get great ideas for things I want to do, start and then let them die a death as I either get bored of them, decide they aren't reall worth it anyway or get excited by something new.
I know I can be outcomes focussed and bloodymindedly determined when I really put my mind to it. That's how I've gotten ahead at work. Because I love what I do, it's important for other people, and it makes a real difference in people's lives. I've achieved amazing and wonderful things that way and have had heaps of fun as well as some stress and anxiety along the way.
So why can't I put this into action when it affects me? Maybe I don't think I'm worth it, or I'm not smart enough. Maybe I'm just plain lazy. I could did around and get to the root cause of all this, or I could start making a real concerted effort to change my behaviour, not because I have to, but because I want to.
Listening to Michelle's messages and even more, reading through all the comments from people on the 12WBT forums, it seems that self sabotage is the thing that holds most people back from achieving their goals. So I'm not alone.
There seem to be two things that help people achieve their goals. The first is being absolutely organised. Setting a routine into a diary and then sticking to it faithfully. The second is to actually live the mantra JFDI.
And today I realised very clearly that these two things aren't just about achieving health and fitness goals but for reaching life and career goals more broadly.
I have been toying with the idea for a couple of months now about doing a PhD. I'd gotten to the stage where I had just started talking to people about what I wanted to do. I've been on leave and have another week to go so even went as far as setting up a couple of meetings while I am off work.
Then, last week, I had a car accident in a car park (my fault) and had a bunch of other bad news. I went into an absolute slump of despair and thought to myself that there was no way I could ever complete a PhD. That I didn't have the determination, oomph or discipline to finish one, even if I could work out what I wanted to say and write. Today, after my little scales episode, wandering around Canberra doing messages, I realised that I had ben just getting in my own way again and there was no reason I couldn't complete his PhD. And I got excited about it all over again. So thankfully, I hadn't cancelled any of my meetings and am going to do some testing with academics and people in the area I want to research to see whether the projects can have legs, strong legs, strong lean and fit and sculpted legs.
So 12WBT is about your body, but even more, it's about your mind and about you being in control of your behaviour.
Here were my options. Get depressed. Give up. Go eat cake.
But I chose not to do any of those things. Just to take a step in the right direction (tuna and cucumber wholemeal sandwich with no spread for lunch), then another one (small mandarin for a snack)...... because I am going to make it to a fitter, lower cholesteroled, 5k running me.
Then I went and adjusted my start and current weights on my 12WBT profile, just to keep me honest.
Driving around Canberra doing errands this afternoon, my resolve strengthened even more. I thought about all the things that have held me back in the past and hold me back now. Most if it is really about resolve, discipline, determination and focus.
I get great ideas for things I want to do, start and then let them die a death as I either get bored of them, decide they aren't reall worth it anyway or get excited by something new.
I know I can be outcomes focussed and bloodymindedly determined when I really put my mind to it. That's how I've gotten ahead at work. Because I love what I do, it's important for other people, and it makes a real difference in people's lives. I've achieved amazing and wonderful things that way and have had heaps of fun as well as some stress and anxiety along the way.
So why can't I put this into action when it affects me? Maybe I don't think I'm worth it, or I'm not smart enough. Maybe I'm just plain lazy. I could did around and get to the root cause of all this, or I could start making a real concerted effort to change my behaviour, not because I have to, but because I want to.
Listening to Michelle's messages and even more, reading through all the comments from people on the 12WBT forums, it seems that self sabotage is the thing that holds most people back from achieving their goals. So I'm not alone.
There seem to be two things that help people achieve their goals. The first is being absolutely organised. Setting a routine into a diary and then sticking to it faithfully. The second is to actually live the mantra JFDI.
And today I realised very clearly that these two things aren't just about achieving health and fitness goals but for reaching life and career goals more broadly.
I have been toying with the idea for a couple of months now about doing a PhD. I'd gotten to the stage where I had just started talking to people about what I wanted to do. I've been on leave and have another week to go so even went as far as setting up a couple of meetings while I am off work.
Then, last week, I had a car accident in a car park (my fault) and had a bunch of other bad news. I went into an absolute slump of despair and thought to myself that there was no way I could ever complete a PhD. That I didn't have the determination, oomph or discipline to finish one, even if I could work out what I wanted to say and write. Today, after my little scales episode, wandering around Canberra doing messages, I realised that I had ben just getting in my own way again and there was no reason I couldn't complete his PhD. And I got excited about it all over again. So thankfully, I hadn't cancelled any of my meetings and am going to do some testing with academics and people in the area I want to research to see whether the projects can have legs, strong legs, strong lean and fit and sculpted legs.
So 12WBT is about your body, but even more, it's about your mind and about you being in control of your behaviour.
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